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Top Nine Olympic Sports We'd Like to See

By Lou DiPietro

If you've watched the Olympics coverage over the last few weeks, then you've surely noticed that just about anything with a decent following has a chance to be an Olympic sport.

You can add golf and rugby sevens to that list for the 2016 games in Rio, but while the "athletes" of sailing, synchronized swimming, and skeet shooting were busy winning gold medals this year, we here at The Niner were thinking of things we'd much rather see on our televisions…and since Kate Upton-watching will never be an OIympic sport, we came up with these nine substitutes instead.

  • AUTO RACING

    Most major auto circuits have plenty of international flair, so if the Dream Team can play basketball, why can't Danica be an Olympic medalist too? You know, in theory, because you'd probably actually have to win now and then to qualify.

  • CRICKET

    Sure, most Americans don't get it (and thus we'd probably be bad at it), but with the games in London you'd think it would've at least gotten a demo. Plus, who wouldn't want to hear Doc Emrick yell "THAT WAS A WICKED GOOGLY!" dozens of times?

  • BOWLING

    Duckpin, candlepin, ten pin…man, if the IOC is smart, they can have almost as many disciplines as kayaking and equestrian events!

  • CHESS

    On second thought, if you want to be bored and/or confused, you can just watch the equestrian events.

  • COMPETITIVE EATING

    The annual Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest is one of humanity's greatest inventions, and given that Michael Phelps reportedly eats around 10,000 calories a day while training, this one has the potential for crossover success!

  • HORSESHOES

    All you need to be a horseshoes legend is about $50 in materials and a big back yard. Sounds a lot like badminton to us.

  • "PONG"

    America could dominate this one, and anyone with a ping-pong table in their basement/rec room/office and a supermarket nearby has the required equipment. Then again, it might be tough given that you can't start officially training for this one until your early 20s.

  • DODGEBALL

    Let's get Patches O'Houlihan on this one, stat.

  • BASEBALL/SOFTBALL

    Seriously, IOC, we know we've made an octet of bad jokes in the space above, but by pulling these two sports out of the Olympics (instead of, say, modern pentathlon), we think the joke's on you.

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