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"I don't think I went around. That being said, I felt like the bat was kind of taken away from me."
— Boston Red Sox outfielder J.D. Drew, age 32, in the clubhouse after the Red Sox loss, when asked about a checked-swing strikeout call against him with bases loaded and two outs in the eighth inning.

Jerome's Red Sox Elimination Day Jalapeño Burgers
Ingredients
1 ½ lbs. lean ground beef (for two patties, add ¾ pounds beef for each additional burger)
2-4 slices fresh or vacuum packed whole milk mozzarella cheese
1 can pickled jalapeño peppers, whole or sliced hamburger rolls
¾ teaspoon garlic powder
½ teaspoon black pepper (optional)
1 large tomato, sliced
1 med. onion, sliced
1 stick butter
1 head romaine or iceberg lettuce

Fire up your charcoal grill (gas grilles are okay, but at the sacrifice of true char-broiled flavor). Season the ground beef with garlic powder and pepper and make into patties. If you've bought whole jalapeños, coarsely chop several of them and set aside. Slice and butter burger rolls.

When the grill is very hot, place your patties in the center and cover, leaving the vents slightly open to allow some air flow. Check the patties regularly, flipping often. Two to 3 minutes before they're cooked to preference, top each patty liberally with chopped jalapeños, lay mozzarella slices over the burger, and re-cover the grill. Meanwhile, lightly brown buttered sides of rolls (Tip: an iron skillet over an indoor stovetop allows for quick, even browning and saves room on the grill). Let cheese partially melt over the jalapeños. Place on buns and garnish with lettuce, tomato and onion.

It's best to eat the burgers while watching press conferences and clubhouse interviews of miserable, grimfaced Red Sox players, but anytime between Red Sox Elimination Day and Game 1 of the World Series is acceptable. I realize the game ended late, and most of us were looking at work the next day.

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We had our first frost of the winter in Maine Sunday night. The temperature dipped down into the twenties and there was a rime of ice on our windows. Also Sunday night, the Tampa Bay Rays beat the Boston Red Sox, 3-1, to clinch Game 7 of the American League Championship Series and move on to the World Series. That meant it was time to stand out in the shivery cold and slap my special barbecued Red Sox Elimination Day Jalapeño Burgers onto the grill.

Around the middle of last week, The Wife went out and bought charcoal for the grill and all the ingredients for the burgers. It wasn't that we were cocky. I'd learned all about being too cocky when I prematurely cut my victory cake with Mariano Rivera on the mound in the ninth inning of Game 7 of the 2001 World Series. But here in Port Getaway, you can't just go out and buy that stuff at the last minute. The only store that's even open past nine o'clock at night or so is Wal-Mart, and that's several miles away in the next town over.

So The Wife bought all the stuff and got the patties ready and placed them neatly in the fridge. We put the grill out on the deck outside the living room door, but left the charcoals in the bag in our vestibule. This was partly because you don't want them to get wet in case of rain, but was also a gesture of propitiation to the baseball gods, lest they mistake preparedness for overconfidence.

When Sox shortstop Jed Lowrie hit a grounder to the Rays' Akinori Iwamura for the game's final out, The Wife jumped off her chair with a whoop. She has a naturally high voice and sounded like a very loud toy fire engine. Then she started doing what might be described as a robo-pogo dance, jumping up and down with her legs together and her hands straight up in the air, hooting all the while. I thought it looked like fun and joined her, though my voice is sort of foghorn-like and I added a little kick-step to the dance.

While the dog was okay with us — probably because she can't hear too well nowadays — our jolly frolics sent the cats scampering upstairs in a panic. Eddie seemed especially scared as he dashed after the others. The latest feline hobo to come stumbling into our household, he doesn't quite get baseball or understand how much we hate the Red Sox.

I made the burgers after the screaming and jumping around. To quote those Campbell's soup adds, they were "mmm-mmm good!"

SHORT HOPS
The TBS series broadcasts gave new perspective on why the Toronto Blue Jays had a losing record during Buck "Yackety-Yak" Martinez's brief managerial career with the team. If his chatter in the Toronto dugout was remotely similar to the nonstop, mostly obvious, and occasionally self-contradictory blabbering he did as lead color commentator for this year's ALCS, it no doubt made the Jays so nervous they desperately wanted to go home.

As dreadful as Martinez was, his broadcast booth colleague, play-by-play man Chip Caray, was nightmarish. At one point he confused the 2003 ALCS-losing Red Sox with the 2004 World Series-winning Red Sox. During Game 4 of the current series, he stated that the Sox had returned to Boston down 0-2, when they'd in fact split the first pair of games in at the Trop — and unless I'm nuts, he'd been there in St. Pete to call those games. When Caray finally got his wins and losses straight to realize the Sox were down 3-1 to face elimination in Game 5, he repeatedly reminded viewers of recent Red Sox comebacks by telling us "this team has done it before" and using the '04 (which, again, he thought was '03) ALCS series against the Yankees as an example. Martinez joined in the refrain.

Nobody bothered to mention that only Jason Varitek, Mike Timlin, David Ortiz and Tim Wakefield remained from the 2004 World Series Championship squad that pulled that historic upset of the Yankees. Nor did they point out that the Sox had home field advantage during their 2007 ALCS comeback against the Cleveland Indians, or that they took the field in '07 with a healthy Josh Beckett and Curt Schilling in their starting rotation, and Mike Lowell and Manny Ramirez in the everyday lineup — none of which was the case in 2008.

I watched the Saturday and Sunday games with the television's sound muted. Call it a survival mechanism.

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It was interesting to watch the "Fenway Faithful", who boast of sticking with their team to the bitter end, go lamming out of the ballpark by the seventh inning of their team's Game 3 and 4 blowout losses. And to hear them boo Big Papi himself, David Ortiz, for having a poor series due to his slow return from a wrist injury.

That's faithful? Say somethin' Buck and Chip, willya?

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Give Sox fans some props — they didn't go in for rally towels, cowbells, or any other stupid gimmicks. Rally towels belong at college games. And I hated high school and college. I mean, hated.

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On the losing side, my ALCS Man Up Award goes to Red Sox manager Terry Francona, and players Jason Varitek, Dustin Pedroia and Jon Lester for sportsmanlike, no-excuses, praise-for-the winner postgame comments after their loss. When a member of the press baited Francona to dis the Yankees for their World Series-or-bust directive, he didn't nip.

Also on the losing side, my ALCS Mouse Out washable tattoo goes to Ortiz, J.D. Drew, and especially Jonathan Papelbon who offered up every excuse in the book for the Sox loss. In practically a single breath, the showboating, grandstanding (when victorious) and ever classless Papelbon stood outside his locker blaming his team's loss on the extra month they played on the road to a world championship last year, their season-opening trip to Japan this year, and of course injuries. Asked whether the Rays deserved credit for winning the series, he mumbled something about being sure they were excited to be heading to the World Series.

On the winning side, my Man Up Award and congratulations goes to Rays manager Joe Maddon, Game 7 starting pitcher Matt Garza, and for that matter the entire team. They've been baseball's best and gutsiest squad in 2008. Maddon is da man, and proved it by calling on Price to face J.D. Drew with the game on the line in the eighth — and then trusted his young lefty to close out the game in the ninth.

I hope the Rays go on to crush the Phillies in the World Series and predict they do it in 5.

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Speaking of predictions, I want to close by sharing part of an email from constant DIR reader and college freshman Chelsea S., which I received before the NLCS and ALCS series began.

" . . . after looking at everything down on paper, I have the Phillies now over the Rays in the World Series, with Philly taking the Dodgers in 5 (I'd say a clean sweep but the pitcher the Phillies have for Game 4 is owned by the Dodgers and I think Lowe with 4 days rest could prove stronger).

One big factor I have down for the ALCS is the fact the Sox are in the dome. Dice-K and Beck {ett}'s ERAs both go up in the Dome while Shields and Kazmir have ERAs under 2.90. With Lester set up for game 3, I say his luck runs out. Yeah, he is 3-0 against TB this season but I can imagine him bringing his same old bag of tricks and the Rays taking advantage of it. Even though I have TB beating Wakefield who is 0-3 against the Rays but he is a knuckleballer. Just for good measure, I have the Rays in 6 games.

The reason I changed my mind about Philly was one person. Chase Utley has each pitcher's number. I designated each pitcher a player to "look out" for (yes, I was avoiding my math homework) or a player who has the best BA of the team against a certain pitcher. Turns out, Utley has the best BA against each starting Dodger pitcher.

I thought this was interesting. The Phillies and Dodgers played two four-game series and they both swept them on their home field. So if that were to happen again, then the Phillies would win in 6. The Rays are also 10-8 against the Sox this season. I can't believe I'm going to say this but I think the Rays' 'pen is better than the Sox. How did that ever happen?!

All I can add to Chelsea's analysis is: TBS and FOX color commentator-pickers take note.

See you after the World Series.

Comments? Questions? We invite you to send your feedback on Deep in the Red to readermail@jeromepreisler.com.