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A QUICK ONE WHILE WE'RE AWAY
Before we all break for a well-deserved Thanksgiving rest — and I'm talking about you guys out there, not necessarily the YES men, although truth be told they could use a break as well. Remember those shots of the boiler rooms in Titanic? It's a lot like that; sweat, coal dust, and baseballs — I wanted to clarify some of the things I've been saying about the Yankees' offense over the last few weeks.

Let's go over some very basic ground here. In 2008, the Yankees suffered with performances at three positions that we in the biz describe as "below replacement level." If you're not in the biz — and no sane person is — you would just say that these guys didn't hit at all, were so far below average that not only were they not helping, they personally created a sucking force that pulled the team out of the playoffs. These players were the assorted catchers subbing for Jorge Posada, primarily Jose Molina; Robinson Cano, subbing for his better self; and Melky Cabrera.

IF Posada can come back, catch for the bulk of the season and hit somewhere around his career norms; IF Robinson Cano can hit like 2007; IF the center fielder or fielders, whoever he, she or they are, can give the Yankees production in the vicinity of average, the team is going to pick up something like an average of 20 or 25 runs at each of those positions. That sounds like a lot, but the offense they received from them was so far below average that anything they get that isn't a giant negative represents a huge leap forward.

As the unsubtle capital letters above suggest, there is no way of knowing if the Yankees will go 3-for-3 at those positions, just as they didn't plan to go 0-for-3 in 2008 (though the catching issue should have been anticipated and should be anticipated now). Still, this seems like all good news. The Yankees should, rather painlessly and without making any significant changes, add something like 75 runs over last year's total, and given even halfway decent pitching, that should translate to several more wins, maybe even half a dozen or so — probably enough to make the playoffs.

The problem is that this isn't a situation where the other positions remain static. The best-case scenario for first base with Nick Swisher starting is that he rebounds to play last year's production to a tie or a very slight improvement; Jason Giambi was quite good, but there were also quite a few at bats that went to players like Wilson Betemit and Shelley Duncan, who did nothing but eat outs at the position. Even though the Yankees are anticipating having a healthy Hideki Matsui at designated hitter, production there could remain static or actually decline, as the various DHs hit quite well, registering .282/.378/.461 rates overall. In left and right fields, the Yankees are likely to drop about 40 runs total over last season, as both Johnny Damon and Xavier Nady are strong bets to return to more typical levels of production.

That leaves us with everyone's favorite musical act, A-Rod and the Captain. If Rodriguez has another MVP-level year in him, if Jeter has a mild rebound on tap at 35, the offense can probably withstand the scenario we've outlined here. If not, well, it could be another long year even if the pitching staff is substantially improved. This is the reason I've argued so strongly for Mark Teixeira, because, to review, we've got five Ifs here: if Posada, if Cano, if Melky/Gardner, if Jeter, if A-Rod. Adding another 100-run bat (who is also a glove who might swing defensive first base from a win's-worth of lost runs to a win's-worth of added runs) would moot two or three of those ifs. They wouldn't be "ifs" at all, they would be "que sera seras," — whatever will be will be.

That's the best case I can make, and I hereby rest it for the holiday.

MORE FROM ME
Ongoing fun at Wholesome Reading throughout the holiday weekend — I'll never stop. I should have a new "Things We Read Today" up shortly. Updates here as news warrants; if the Yankees sign Lefty Grove tomorrow, I will eagerly push myself away from the table and my doleful contemplation of a bird that was tortured in life only to be poorly cooked after and return here to give you my take. I joked above about taking a much-deserved rest, but given the recent election and the general upheaval the country is going through these days, it's hard to think of a year in which we all needed a timeout more than we do now. I hope you are thoroughly recharged by yours, and I wish you a safe and pleasing time in the bosom of your family. Don't fight, not over the wishbone, not even over Mark Teixeira, and I'll see you back here in a few days.

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Wednesday, November 24: Posted at 5:38 p.m. EST

"WORKING"
In the original "Star Trek" television series, there was a recurrent bit of dialogue that went something like this:

CAPTAIN KIRK: Spock, ask the computer if we can achieve warp polarity by inserting a cappuccino maker into the dilithium matrix.

SPOCK [carefully rephrasing by means of added or subtracted emphasis to disguise the fact that the Captain, standing right next to him, could have just as easily asked the question himself.]: Computer, could we achieve warp polarity by inserting a cappuccino maker into the dilithium matrix?

At this point, the computer would make some clicking noises.

COMPUTER: Working.

SPOCK: The computer is working, Captain.

COMPUTER: Answer: No.

SPOCK: Captain, the computer says, "No."

KIRK: What was the question again?

At this stage of the winter, the Yankees, and many other teams as well, are still in the "working" stage of things, and may too be in danger of forgetting what the question was. In fact, the question may never have been asked, just stopping halfway. "If we sign C.C. Sabathia, then —" Then what? It doesn't solve all the problems because there is so much more to do. Yet, everything waits on the results of the Sabathia bidding, with the big man taking his time both so that he can receive every offer and because it's an open secret that his first choice is to play someplace further west than New York.

Everything about the Sabathia situation reeks of an Eddie Lee Whitson replay. If you'll recall, Whitson was a nice pitcher from Tennessee, not a Sabathia by any means, just a No. 4 guy with good control and pitch-to-contact stuff, who took Yankeebucks in 1985. He wasn't a big city guy, he wasn't all that thrilled about coming, but money talks. He comes to the Bronx, pitches badly, the fans hate him, he gets very, very nervous — so nervous that the Yankees tried to pitch him exclusively on the road. Eventually, they had to send him back from whence he came.

Sabathia isn't going to be a Whitson, too nervous to pitch, and one doubts he will be a Carl Pavano either, someone either too fragile or too unmotivated to pitch. That said, it is naïve to think that money solves every problem. If Sabathia has his heart set on pitching in California, on wanting to hit or both, he may not perform up to expectations. Whether a player has the best work ethic or the worst, in the final analysis, he's only human. It was already unlikely that the Yankees were going to get the 1.65 ERA pitcher the Brewers had for the second half — that version of Sabathia will almost certainly never been seen again. No doubt the Yankees will be thrilled senseless if they get the guy with the 3.21 ERA the Indians had in 2006-2007. That's not certain either (nothing is), but it's slightly more likely if Sabathia is happy to be a Yankee.

We would all like to think in our bitterest imaginings that getting a $140- or $150-million contract would solve all of our problems. Certainly, a lot of basic worries go away when you don't have to worry about money (or so I imagine, not having been there myself). Emotions are a funny thing, though, and it often takes more than that to be happy, particularly in our work. I've known people who have left seemingly great jobs because they got bored and wanted new challenges or disliked their boss or the flavor in the water cooler was a bit fishy or any of a thousand other reasons that seemed small reason to risk unemployment or a career change to anyone outside of that individual's head. At the end of the day, though, no matter what you're paid, if you don't enjoy your job it becomes very difficult to get up in the morning.

As great a pitcher as Sabathia is, as much as he would improve the Yankees, both sides in this discussion should be aware of the dangers. The Yankees don't want to bet such a large chip on a player who might not be thrilled to don his extra-large set of pinstripes 162 times, who looks at Derek Jeter and Alex Rodriguez and secretly wishes they all could be California girls. Sabathia is going to get more money than he'll ever need, than his grandchildren will ever need, and so, he ought to choose the place where he will be happiest.

Of course, that assumes he has a counteroffer, and at this late date, we still haven't heard of the Dodgers or Angels offering any kind of alternative, just the Brewers and their relatively small bid. And yet, even if the dance is one-sided, everything said still applies. If Sabathia had his heart set on playing elsewhere, the Yankees may get less than they expect.

As this drags on, all else hovers — including A.J. Burnett and his tangled arm, Derek Lowe and his aged arm and Mark Teixeira — as an afterthought for everyone who should be thinking of him first. The computer drones on: "Working." To be continued?

MORE FROM ME
...As I learn that life without a thyroid gland means adhering to something like a regular sleep schedule...

Not from me, actually, but Rich Faber talks more about his wife's battle with cancer, discussed in last week's Pinstriped Bible.

Since last time at Wholesome Reading: Idle musings; the Myth of American Military Genius; and Those Repeating History, plus more to come. Sing with the choirmaster: Warning! Here there be politics!

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